Sorry I haven't been good with the details the past few days. Honestly I just have been having a hard time dealing with the whole thing. Normally I can handle the ebb and flow of a sick baby pretty well but I guess the ebb just got me this time. Penny is doing fine, it's just that she's not improving the way my optimist self would like for her too. She's still on the ventilator and still sedated for the most part and I'm pretty sure it's wearing on her as much as it is on me. The plan as of Wednesday was to extubate her on Friday morning. On Thursday her co2 went up a little too high so they had to go up on her vent settings and postponed the extubation. Yesterday she did a little better so they were able to wean her settings back down and so far she's doing well, but I'm just bracing myself for the next blood gas just in case it's high and we're back to square one again.
After the little pity party I threw myself yesterday, the Lord told me very clearly exactly what i needed to hear. Imagine that! I realized that when we chose to trust God with Penny's life and refuse "selective reduction", this is what we chose. I want my sweet Penelope more than I've ever wanted anything and that means I want this. I want whatever it takes to preserve her life because I believe God has a purpose for it. And that makes all the difference.
Specific Prayer
-praise that her atelectasis is getting better
-pray for healing for her lungs
-pray for discernment and wisdom for her doctors
-pray for wisdom for me as I balance both babies
Here are both of my girls happy to be alive!
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